today i found out that someone i care about has been lying to me.

continuously.

at first i thought it could still be fixed.

but then now certain things are suddenly falling into place, certain other things are suddenly making sense, and i realise, too late, probably,

what an idiot i've been.

what a waste of four years of trying to fix things, four years of tears, and pain, and emotional torture, it just keeps happening over and over again. how many chances am i supposed to give?

if you're reading this, and you know it's you i'm talking about, please,

________________________________________________________________ .


how anti-climatic, but i don't even know what to do or say, anymore. i keep typing something, then changing it, then changing it again. when i finally figure that blank out, i'll fill it in.

fucking wish i was an emotionless bitch, then maybe i would feel no pain.

happy twenty first babe!

i know, my photoshop text is awesomezzzz. hahahahah.

prepping for hoyu hair show!

doing a hairshow for hoyu on wednesday, so did my prep today. uploaded halfway to photobucket then somehow the page hung and server crashed, so it's all gone! -wails. why do things like that always happen to me, gah. i have crazy hair colour now, though. im going to attempt to upload it and then play one level of cockadoodle inc and if it's not done by then im going to bed, haha.

x love and i went to a|x a while back and i bought an awesome duffel like finally!

i love sales. i wanted to get the one with the gloss monograms, but then x said there were no long straps, which made sense since it was for holidays anyways. so i got this one! and so did x. which is very unlike us but i convinced him it would complete his life as it would complete mine. haha. brought it on the singtel bintan trip! :)

anyways.

i broke all public transport records today! determined not to waste my money on cabs anymore because it's like three hundred plus a month wasted! and i want to revamp my room = new furniture! which i have to proudly sponsor myself. so. i took a grand total of 8 bus rides and 5 train rides today! feels like i've been travelling non stop, sheesh. went for hoyu prep, then audition, then casting, then home, then ikea, then novena, then home.

and im still awake!

found my perfect wardrobe today at ikea, (yes, i love ikea, despite its mass-produced consumerism and shameless marketing ploys for the budget friendly) haha. it's got three doors and midget-friendly. i.e. i don't have to tiptoe to hang my clothes like for my wardrobe now, because yes, i am short as everyone knows. haha.

but but but. i didn't get it in the end because they can't deliver by tomorrow, which is the only day i'm free to assemble it cause am so busy with shows non-stop. i don't know when i'm free next and they can only hold it for five days max for free anyways so i don't mind going again, i love it and the freaking swedish meatballs so much. any excuse to eat it right. so yes, conclusion, i am a cheapo, a greedy pig, and i secretly like to assemble furniture, which is why i love buying ikea furniture, haha. it makes me feel all superhuman and then i have bragging rights to say i built my own wardrobe, okay.

random, because it's done uploading, what i wore recently-ish, or in general, just that i'm always too lazy to take outfit pictures/ x always sulks and complains when he has to help me take outfit pictures, and i'm too lazy to make it up to him after, haha.

shades by saints and sailors, leather jacket from topshop,
dress from aa, shoes, vintage.

have since lost shades, which sucks balls. my favourite pair! :(


oooh. hair prep pictures are done.

happily camwhoring with my "old" ish hair whilst waiting for my stylist


then sulking cause it occurs to me that i will actually miss my oldish hair just when i finally managed to achieve manageable hair/grown-out fringe! :(


darling mich in her cleopatra outfit haha.


camera shy!


when left alone, camwhore.


pink aluminium strips! i'm not a fan of pink, but this is pretty rad.


hoyu studio/makeshift setup and busy busy stylists




done! my stylist back for "before" photos then off for a wash.

and.....


ta-dah! mad streaks. somehow the one strand in front is really, really blonde. hahaha.


attempts at jap look = epic fail. evidence that i was obviously not a harajuku girl in my past life, sadly. haha.

anyways, went for casting later and guess who i bumped into?

:) jas! my darling sister.

much love.

okay am off to finish my game, and then sleep.

xoxo,
j.

omg.

i haven't posted in a month! i admit, i am a horrible person.

if you're wondering what i've been up to, it's been nothing but singtel, f1, and more work madness, haha.

but working on a couple of other events now, just finished the media corp festival tonight.

exhausted! haven't had a moment of rest in quite a while.

but on the bright side,

#1) fhm october issue is out! i am technically obligated to tell you all that i am in it. hahaha. if you are curious, get it. here is a sneak preview.

i know, the resolution is AWFUL. i admit, i ripped them off a generic email. haha. eeps. to be honest, i am actually embarassed by it.

#2) will be updating with photos soon. to remind myself:

a. singtel random event photos
b. f1 day grid girl photos
c. singtel pageant day behind the scenes photos
d. photos (MASSIVE!) from milan trip with jac for filming of sgg on tour
e. mediacorp festival today
f. yes, those damned tioman/starwars party photos.

damnit, my photobucket will explode.

doing two runway shows this coming week, though. so freaking exhausted with fittings and stuff. ahhhhh. too bad i love it so much. will someone please get me a nicer camera! everything is so far coming out blur. so i have less photos to share. UGH.

xoxo,
j.

p.s. freaking addicted to cockadoodle inc. on the iphone! freaking retarded and awesome management game. i love time management games. that makes me such a sad loser, but it's true. hahahah. love you bitches!

p.p.s. also thinking of changing my blog header. i am a lazy person, so i only made two. which do you prefer?

A.

or

B.

Take a poll! either because you are bothered, or because you have nothing better to do. hahahah.

Which of the above pictures do you think is more awesome for my new blog header?
	A.
	B.
	The current one should stay, even though it is a blur piece of crap taken in the bus
	I can't decide, they are both freaking awesome! (i know, i am damn thick skinned hahahahah.)
pollcode.com free polls